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The Real Insecurity Inside Us

Somehow, we always feel drawn towards items or achievements that make us feel exclusive and deems us unique in the eyes of others. Be it Forbes 30 under 30, the Hermes Himalayan Croco Birkin Bag or even a personalized notebook. These desires tell us something about ourselves and that is: we want to be seen as unique. Don’t believe this? Well have you ever felt threatened or insecure when you discover that another person has the same possessions or achievements as you or even perhaps better than you? Yes, we’re always on the lookout for our X-factor and unfortunately, it cannot be found outside ourselves.

This insecurity drives us to constantly be overly competitive, envious, and jealous of others. However, if we always place ourselves to be victims of our circumstances, it would just be self-destructive. The Spanish philosopher José Ortega once said, 'yo soy yo y mi circunstancia', which means “I am me and my circumstances” - and we should celebrate that! There’s always something unique in ourselves that we can offer. Furthermore, we can’t always compare ourselves with other people, because we do have to admit that there will always be someone greater than us. Oftentimes too, we compare our weaknesses with the strengths of others. Thus, how do we avoid this self-inflicted pit hole? How do we overcome this fear and insecurity in our heads?

We need to search for our own unique identity. However, we cannot do it alone as each of us is usually our own harshest critic. We constantly dwell on the image of the glass being half empty rather than half full. This endless pursuit of perfection leaves many of us weary and frustrated.

Listed below are just some guidelines to help you but not strict rules to follow. If it helps you then go for it, if not then perhaps there are other ways not listed here that speak to you.

1) Use the SMART plan as a guide in making goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time based.

2) Don’t overestimate yourself, it is good to have a growth mindset, but know that growth takes time. Talk out your plans with a close friend to make sure your goals are attainable for that time period.

3) Have a Work or Personal Journal and write down your insights to your interior self: actions and thoughts, what sparked joy and what left you feeling empty and tired. This will help you know yourself and be especially useful in job applications. The evidence from your journal will back up your statements in your interview or application form. This also prevents you from overexaggerating yourself; you will burn out trying to keep up with an overexaggerated image you crafted.

4) Find a good community to journey with and to keep yourself accountable. Be open and share with them about your actions and thoughts in taking on tasks, jobs or other career-related activities. They may be able to point out your strengths in certain tasks and what you can improve on. Learn from others in that community, be inspired by the uniqueness of each person and the diversity the community has to offer. With this, we have to announce that Girls In Charge is starting our own community! Come join us in LinkedIn using this link:


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