How to Deal with Self-Rejection?
Updated: Jan 19
One of the reasons why we often reject ourselves is because we are not even aware of ourselves. The lack of confidence and pride are two extremes of self-rejection. Pride is to create too much of an image of yourself and the lack of confidence is too little belief in yourself. Knowing yourself helps avoid these two extremes, and one of the ways to do this is to have the habit of journaling.
A journal helps you remember events in your life and can be a source of evidence in substantiating your job applications. It guides in decision-making processes and can also often be a great reminder of how far you have come. Growth brings us fulfilment and we are always a work in progress.
In journaling, just be yourself! Here are some guidelines to help you:
1) When you are overwhelmed by emotions, vent it out in that journal!
2) Record key events in your life and your workplace.
3) Be honest with yourself, nobody is going to look at your journal.
4) Write down anything that comes to your mind.
5) Avoid becoming a perfectionist in journaling! Do not allow yourself to turn the good habit of journaling into a wearisome chore. Remember that it is a guide not a strict rule!
Compare yourself with the person you were yesterday. We need to look back and reflect on what we wrote to prevent self-delusion. Observe the good and the bad in yourself. Give constructive feedback to yourself but make sure it is not too much to become self-criticism. Moderation is key.
Have a growth mindset not a fixed one: allow yourself to be molded. Avoid attaching yourself to strict labels: fully good or fully bad. We are all always somewhere in between those two. Avoid selective memory and cherry-picking journal entries, take multiple events to create a bigger picture to see where you are now. Finally, recognize that you are a constant work in progress and growth requires time.